FGF: How are YOU, REALLY?
Hey Team FIT LV!
It's Feel Good Friday and I feel pretty dang good. I have been intentionally checking in with myself, which isn't something I have always done. I have also been setting a lot of boundaries, which means being really selective with my YES's, and of course dishing out more NOs, which feels really good too.
Well Kristi, that's great you feel good, why are you telling me this? Okay so hear me out, yesterday I had a long conversation with a client who is taking a pause from her program. She completed 6 months with me in the VIP program and is going to take a reset before returning. One thing I like to do with anyone who isn't going to stick around is an out boarding process. This can be a survey but I really prefer a phone call to discuss the program, how they felt it went, and what we can do to improve the process next time. During this call she asked me a question along the lines of, "How do you make it work? How do you prioritize it? And feel good about it all?.."
After some back and forth and reflection on my own life it comes down to this:
How are YOU, REALLY?
We don't sit still to check in on ourselves enough.
We don't sit in silence.
We don't feel our bodies and ask them what they need.
We don't sit with our meals and notice how they make us feel before, during, and after.
We don't take notice of our gut instinct and what we really want to do.
We have gotten so distracted with life and other people, that we've forgotten to check in with ourselves. The path, the purpose, the vision. If you want to make IT work, doing all the things, showing up for yourself, your person, your friends and family- YOU HAVE TO BE DIALED IN.
This starts with being still.
I was on a check in call with another client yesterday and she mentioned laying in bed relaxing, doing nothing. I was like CONGRATS THAT'S HUGE!!!! Because she, like me is a master multitasker. I joked that If I can carry 27 things up the stairs while doing calf raises, writing a post, and listening to a podcast I would. Sitting still is not our specialty but it is so important.
The magic is in the stillness.
The stillness I am going to describe is not the kind you would experience in meditation, but rather sitting still with your thoughts.
- Who are you?
- What is others perception of you? Is it accurate?
- Are you happy and proud of you?
- What is your goal?
- What is your purpose?
- Are you still prioritizing a dream from 10 years ago, that isn't the dream any more?
- How would those who you love the most benefit from a more present YOU?
- How would those you love the most benefit from a healthier YOU?
I have listed these questions to many clients over the past few months and I usually get a response like this:
"Ooooof.... I don't know. I don't like to think about myself like that.."
"Hmmmm I don't know, I haven't thought about any of that in awhile..."
"Ehhhh I dunno, I am just so used to prioritizing eveyone else that I just give myself the scraps."
This avoidance is unsustainable and unhealthy. We cannot avoid checking in on ourselves forever. The podcast I titled this email after "How are you, Really?" refers to us checking in on ourselves. Imagine yourself as a car and your "Check Engine Light" came on and you chose to ignore it for quite sometime. Yeah, you will get away with it for awhile but eventually your car is going to break down. Why are you ignoring it?
What are you afraid of?
It can feel scary to check in on yourself. Silence can feel lonely and uncertain. You may discover this dream you have been pursuing tirelessly for years is no longer the dream. You may realize the people you have been leaning on and turning to are not actually the supportive people you thought they were. You may realize all the things in your life that you had been blaming on others, are actually in your control.
Any and all of these things usually mean change, and you know the deal... we are hardwired to resist change. So to avoid uncomfortable conversations with ourselves and potentially others, to avoid impending change: we distract.
We are constantly distracting ourselves from ourselves and our thoughts via social media, reality tv, video games, alcohol, drugs, food, sex. All of these coping mechanisms or vices, are just distractions from our truth.
Don't distract, seek it.
My goal for you this weekend is to seek your truth. Ask yourself these tough questions and sit alone with the silence. Check in on yourself, your body, your mind. What in your life is no longer serving you? Are there people or things in your life you can eliminate? People that aren't on the same page, things that are no longer in alignment with your goals. When you get really clear on your path and purpose, it is way easier to "trim the fat."
A simple formula
➡️ Start by adding: Add in silence, stillness, and devoted time to yourself. Add in protein, fruits, and vegetables. Add in hydration. Add in sleep. Add in supportive, motivated, and positive people. Add in affirmations and positive media: books & podcasts.
➡️ Then subtract: Subtract vices- fast food, alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, busy work, gossip, TV, social media. Subtract people who aren't aligned with you.
What you will gain with this formula, is clarity on your purpose and a life that feels really, really good.
I want to leave you with a quote I loved from this podcast that sums up the conversation I had with my client, "Boundaries keep us living IN our lives." I encouraged my client to do the above, audit her activities, her people, her time. Set boundaries and practice saying NO. Boundaries keep us living IN our lives. This weekend, sit still, realign with your purpose, and set some MF boundaries. It's time you start feeling REALLY good and living your best life.
As always, thanks for being here. Thanks for giving me a platform to share my thoughts each week and encouraging me to do so.
-Coach K
